FIRST OF ALL OMG I AM SO SORRY FOR ALL OF MY SHIETY POSTS LATELY WTF!

kay so omg this guy from phily i met while i was there, who i tooootally stopped talking to, and i, have started talking again and i cant say i'm anything less than c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y smitten by him. seriously its rediculous.. i hate saying it, but before you judge me, this is the low-down on this guy: he's like 25ish? tall, haanddsoommee, has light eyes, medium brown hair, has an itialian accent lives in phily ANNDD he's completing his PhD to become a professor in biology, cancer research. hot much?! i'm like gobsmacked at the fact he isnt hitched yet, but in all honesty, he makes me feel like i'm 14 again, and i want to have his babies. end of story. tyrons performing dancing today! i'm going to watch in like an hour and i havent slept faaaaaark. :)

help me, somebody!

happy ten months nancy & tyron! yay! LOL he came over this morning at like 6am to cuddle until 7am when he had to leave for work. nyaww. i am so happy (and delirious from not sleeping at all last night) that i may just bake a cake even though its going to be really hot today but tyron loves cake so what the heck. :) btw wow this is like my 3rd post in like 8 hours LOL anyways, i need help! because we have an 'alice in wonderland' themed dress up party to go to on friday and i dont know what to go as and what to get tyron to go as (queen of hearts and alice are already taken). i would go as tweedle-dee or tweedle-dum but i wouldnt wanna go like that WITH tyron cause that would just look wierd and we'd look like one of those indian couples that wear matching tracksuits (in my head). i guess i could go as anyone, but i just want a unique and awesome way to put it together. :) ideas? oh and also please remember i am poor. :) oh btw just out of curiosity, random question for anyone who comments this post, what countries are you guyses from? ta ta ta. oh, oh and also i totally promised you guys ages ago a picture of boyfriend so clicky here to see and here to see him in a suit. *prouddd* LOL alsoo, if i recall promised the recipe for the selfsaucing chocolate pudding i made for christmass, and i will post that with my next post :) sincere apologies for the delay fine ladies. hugs hugs and kisses ♥ xx.

i'm proud but i don't feel fantastic.

so most of the parties tyron and i, are like, my friends' parties: cause thats just how we roll, party allll the time, yo! chikchikBOOM! anyway, tyron's "boys" had a house party last night. i knew two of them (topa & george), but there was like 12907124906 there so i felt really awkward. the two that i knew started feeding me drinks; 8 jim&cola, 2 shots of some sh*t that stung, wine & champagne. from what i remember. so out of the blue i'm in a conversation with topa and his mate, and then tyron comes along behind me & topa turns to him and says:

"tyron, mate, you should keep your girlfriend on a leash."

i fucking flipped out. bad, swore heaps & left. without my shit. tyron came after me and told me he needed to go & get my crap so we could go. i was a couple steps behind him and when he realised he grabbed me like 1/2 a metre from where topa was; and tried calming me down. naturally, i was fuming. i was like nah, nah, nah, nah, i just wanna say one more thing. i walked up to him and im like: "DUDE ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING?! SERIOUSLY THE FUCK IS YOUR DAMN PROBLEM." and he tried telling i dont respect tyron and im like yo hold up what the fuck etc. & i could NOT believe i had heard what i did - especially from this guy, as he's usually a gem & he gets along with my dad really well. while tyron was pulling me away topa threw me a smirk and this is where i cracked. i stopped, took a deep breath, quickly turned and i smacked him a big one right on the face. :) i've never been so proud of myself.

fucking hated that party. was shit. tyron's friends are grosse - even a girl that was pregnant was smoking. they were all really un-classy and did not know how to party. the host was vomiting when we left. and i'm actually really happy that i "cant" go to parties with them anymore. :) only now i'm grounded. :( but the one good thing that came from all this: all of my frsustration from breaking up with my bestie, being angrey at my parents, at my sister, job searching, school and results -- all of it shot down my arm & into my hand when i slapped him. hmmm :)

HOPE YOUR WEEKEND IS FREGGIN AWESOME. :) xxxx.

rainbows.

i like this picture very very very much, thought i would share. also, my boyfriend told me that yesterday he told his mum he is probably going to eventually marry me. im like, in awe. i'm actually speechless. wow. hope your lives arent as whacked out as mine at the moment LOL. xx.

DRAMA, GOSS AND LOVE.

okay so once upon a time, at the start of the year, the girls i was friends with at the time "dumped" me cause the guy they were all ga-ga over, and i had a thing at camp. to paint the picture, he's the most popular guy at school (in the literal sense), he's an athlete (killer bod), and girls will line up after he's done a performance to get a photo of him (a lot of the time he grabs me to be in photos with him, cute!) he played the piano and sang to me (all my life - kci & jojo), he has an a-m-a-z-i-n-n-g voice, and we did a duet at the talent night and cuddled at the movie night. we then became really close friends, but since its always been that awkward in-between kind of friends -- and yeah. any way, two weeks past and after the holidays the girls found out i had a boyfriend (same boyfriend i have now), who is half australian and half cookislander, (makes him hawt stuff!) and when i showed them pictures they simply were in shock. he used to play for the same rugby team as the group of boys this prettykid is the leader of, who are all islander and sexy as bro! anyway, then the bitchiness arrived and from there it was all down hill. SO, i was talking to this prettykid last night, turns out he needs a lift to the prom: which means i will rock up with two sexy boys in suits, to the formal in a brand new WRXSTI. in front of the girls who i used to be friends with. in a hot dress. just thought i'd share the goss ♥ hahahah. im soo effing excited. :) oh and also he's coming clubbing. :)

Bad Luck is my new Best Friend.

sorry i havent posted lately, bad luck is following me everywhere, and today i feel like crap. boyfriends house and watch movies and be fat this afternoon. till he gets home, i'm sweeping, vaccuuming and mopping the whole house. and re-arranging my room. and putting on new bedsheets. and putting a new feature thing in my room. taking down the photos, corkboards etc. i've realised that i'm sacrificing a lot lately. sleep is one, but another that is killing me, is for example, that i'm not going to my formal (prom) so that i can use the money to go to a church thing - so i've spent the last day or so detaching myself from my emotions.

btw LOL, my dog is freaking out at the thunder storm on right now, she's on my lap shaking like a leaf. if she was a child i'd tell her it's God getting was cause she killed those birds. LOL i'm going to be a terrible parent. hahahah. anyway, eye candy always makes me feel better so i hope you people will too :)

xxxx.

YAMAYZING.

i tried to break up with him tonight. his response: whatever reason you're trying to do this for, it's not good enough. we are not breaking up. thats what he said. and then - oh and then, he kissed me. he did it, he did something amazing. :) and my friend didnt even text him :) my weird feelings can fuck themselves. i love him, i love him. hello btw :) its raining here, but its warm. :) is it sunny where you are?

xxxxx.

delicious ambiguity

nothing's happened so far today. i just woke up with a headache because i fell asleep with my head on my phone. i wasnt talking on it or anything, it just ended up there. i think because i miss my boyfriend, i wanted to text him last night to tell him to come over in the morning, but i fell asleep. i'm kind of glad i did though, because if i had texted him and he didnt come, i wouldve been shattered. i miss him. i'll probably see him tonight. there's a church dance, only thing is that if he doesnt go, i'll end up going with this guy he hates who's my friend (i dont really like him either). awkward. the drive in was amazing, twilight was amazing: but taylor lautner is so much more than beyond amazing. have you seeen his body?! hello! i'm just glad my boyfriend didnt go last night to see me drool all over myself for this guy. LOL! honestly though, last night would have been so much better with him there. :( I MISS HIM, and yes i said it again. and for those wondering why the fuck i talk about my boyfriend so much is because he's so much so a part of my life that when he's not there for a while it freaks me out. he actually told me that he plans to marry me this one time we were at the hairdresser and i was looking at a bridal magazine. but he has shit to do first. it's complicated. also, and more importantly - he's my best friend. i can tell him everything (doesnt mean i do, remember i'm an incredibly emotionally closed off person).

the thing is though - i think i'm falling out of love with him and its scaring the hell out of me. hmm. i think i'm going to text my friend to tell her to text him and get him to do something awesome. like a summersault. :)

he is amazing, but he's just so damn stupid. nothing so far has happened today.

BTWOMFGWTFBBQFTW6OFOLLOWERSLOL.

romeo, save me.

i've realised i'm upset because i put my boyfriend before a lot of things. things like money, time, sleep, even health. mostly its because i never have the heart to say no. and things lately have been fucking up because of him. i wouldnt care, but when i'm upset because shit is fucked, he has nothing to say. i know he cares but, he just says nothing. i've decided to take a break, just without him knowing cause every other of the a thousant other times i've tried to go on a break he freaks out and is at my house all the time. lol, cutie. ♥ anyway, turns out my interview wasn't today, it was tuesday next week so i'm very relieved atm. i'm watching twilight for the first time tonight at home with charlotte. :) and at midnight we're going to the drive in with a group of 20, and watching new moon. charlotte says it will be the most exciting night of my life, hahah. it'll be good to stay away from boyfriend for a while, i can see it now.

even though i really do need space, i secretly want him to do something amazing.

yo!

33/91 degrees today.

i had a shit morning, the shittest morning in a while. so i went shopping, and i bought 2 bras and 7 pairs of new undies. was happy until i burnt my hand on a 527 degree metal thing. it hurts so bad. stuff with my boyfriend is uncontrollably bad. its gotten to the point that i cant even talk about it because it just makes me really upset. its not even that bad, he just really has not stepped up at all. he's not cheating on me or anything but he's just like, let down after let down i was so upset today, and i asked him to come to mine after work because i desperately needed to talk to him. he didnt come. i called him after like 6 hours, because i couldnt stop crying. and i know no ones perfect but c'mon. take the conversation we had on the phone:

mee: (babbling on about how much my hand is in excrutiating pain).

*awkward silence*

him: um, okay. i need to get up early is there anything important you need to say?

i started crying and hung up. i continued to cry for a half hour or so. i've had a stressful week. month. four months. yep. four months. i know i'll be okay though. wannaknow why? i'm a ninja. 'nuff said. hope you're better than me.

i'm not particularly happy today, but i'm not particularly sad either, its really weird! i think its because my daddy yelled at me this morning for not cleaning something my sister made a mess of, but then three scottish men came to my house and put insulation in the roof above my room so i wouldnt be cold anymore. and they did it for free :) thanks for the comments on the last post, and yes my boyfriend is a little bit cool. shall i tell you stories about the beginning of our romance? hua-cha! i need to figure out what's for dinner tonight~ hope you are smiling :)

xxxx.

omg my boyfriend & i are SO chummy, its rediculous.

HE TRICKED ME TODAY! said he wasnt coming

to my house after work lol! but then he did and

i ran outside and hugged him like i hadnt seen him

for ages, and then he picked me up,

took me inside, dropped me on the couch

and kissed me all over my face!

if i could write down the noise for that funny cat noise

that cats make when a little kid pulls their tail, i totally would.

just because grrrrr, just wouldnt be right. :(

HAHAHAHAHAH.

i'm very happy today. yaknow that song "everything is gay"

that that kid sings on youtube? with the guitar?

my life is kinda like that, but still it's awful!

becuase of some unknown reason

i feel terribly optimistic. :D

xxxx.

HE IS SO AMAZING.

guh, he really is.

anyway after lol-ing about what fenia and that said

on my last post about my boyfriend's brother being

amazing-looking and such, i got inspired to photograph my boyfriend

and i'm doing so tomorrow, and so hopefully

you guys will have a better understanding

of what i'm working with here LOLOL

how are we all? i hope you're doing fine

and that raindrops on your head

(that make your straightenned hair frizzy)

are not tearing you down :D

as for me, i had the giggles today! really badly!

i couldnt stop bahahah :) it was fun

and i also ate a nashi pear :D

hooray!

xxxx.

also, if it makes you feel better,

he really isnt that amazing.

i think i just think so cause we are in love ♥

trust in _____.

my boyfriend was really upset today, it kind of disturbed me, because i realised how shut off i can be. he was upset because he says i open up to other people

more than him and he doesnt know wha

to do anymore :( it was soo sweet but it was

also really really sadddd :(

on a positive note

I'M FREE!

FREE, I TELL YOU! FREEEEE!!!!

did my last exam today, & naaailleeeddd it!

and also the exam lady said that she

had never seen anyone write as much as me

^__^ hooray!

anyway with the whole omgomg stress thing

with not knowing what to do career-wise

i've decided i'm going to let God, fate or whatever it is

that decides your circumstances decide for me

and i'm just gonna live everyday like whatever :)

and i'm going to trust my boyfriend more

and talk to him because i didnt realize it upset him that much

which will be hard cause talking-out feelings

isnt exactly a skill i possess. i might write letters

to my boyfriend every now and then or something

LOL

should be good, although i dont

know how long i'll last.

hope you are all wonderful, happy and beautiful

(on the inside).

xxxx.

not having a job is really depressing me.

seriously, my friend bought an outfit yesterday

and i came home and out of nowhere i started

crying like i've never cried before!

it was soooo weird but it was also because

my boyfriend kept asking what was wrong. i hate that!

I NEED A JOB AND I NEED MONEY.

i wanna buy clothes for me and random shit

for my boyfriend and presents at christmas

and op shop things and that! i even actually

want to pay tithing! or at least be able to! argh!

plus i want to get out of this f*cking house.

its driving me nuts. everything is!!

either way though i'm not emo or anything

i'm still happy for what i have, i just want a job.

& my hair is growing! yay!

its funny how things like clothes can depress you

i'm such an ungrateful bitch LOLOL

ohwell :) hope you are all well and lovely.

xxxx.

friends.

are awesome. no joke.

i hope you are working to live

and not living to work :)

xxxx.

i got upset today.

he held me like so:

and made sure i was okay :) i think that im starting to realize the meaning

behind the saying that happiness isnt real if it isnt shared with someone

you love ♥ church was good also: its helping with the whole priorities situation.

cant wait for beach tomorrow, how i love summer (& how i hate mosquitoes!!!)

what are you up to this week? ♥ link me to your posts please, i would very much like to read, to do some catching up :)

BEACHED AS BRO.

HERRO :) as you may know, the weather here is fucked. it will rain in the afternoon, thunderstorm at night and be like 30 degrees the next day (celcius) AND, thanks to the big fat hole in the o-zone layer our UV exposure is worse than all of youse other guys (so blerh!!) summer's pretty much officially here (even though its still technically spring so yesterday we hit the beach and spent most of the day eating icecream and at the beach with tyron ♥ which was cute we went to watch a movie at a friends, got bored so we (about 25 of us) walked down

to the beach at about 9pm & it was beautiful. tyron was being all romantic, and we were like swimming in the water but like i was on his lap and he was swaying back and forth :) and i was like "we need music!" and he's like "just listen to the ocean :)" and i was all like awwww, but secretly laughing inside and tyron and i stayed behind and decided it would be fun to go swimming naked and it totally was! but anyways, hope your weekends were awesome as was mine. :) hitting the beach again tomorrow with the sole purpose of tanning :) because i am latin american (i.e. dark?!) but right now, my boyfriend who is half islander, half white australian is darker than me. and i'm not happy about it. LOLLL happy blogging!

xxxx.

YOU MAKE ME SO MAD!!

but then again, so does everything else.

i (do not) feel fan-fucking-tastic.

as you may be able to tell,

my head is all over the place right now.

i'm pissed off to the max,

and i am also crazy!

*throws arms in the air*

HALLA-BA-LOO!!! :D

i need a job.

i need a job.

i need a job.

i need a job.

why?

JOB = PAY

PAY = MONEY

MONEY = RENT

RENT = NEW HOME.

ALL OF THIS = FREEDOM FROM OPRESSION. :)

hooray.

i hope your life

is better than mine was today.

i fell backwards at the front door,

i was trying to lift up my boyfriend

how he lifts me up when i'm upset

and he wants to make me feel better.

was shit cause it hurt

but it was kinda cute i guess.

so anyway now my elbow hurts.

and i think its bedtime right about now.

xxxx.

p.s. that guy up top is the finest damn thing i ever did see in all my years.

all of mine, well.. they all seem to

somehow come back to me. :\

i've decided to be hopelessly in love with my boyfriend.

it's taken a while to admit that i'm IN love with him

(as opposed to just loving him) but, i think i was just scared.

i suppose it's like that sometimes :)

happy blogging everybody :)