not dead, just very gone :D

hay hay hay! just thought i would post one more time before i leave for brisbane. i am officially leaving in just under an hour. i'm really sick at the moment, and i've lost my voice and i'm all grosse and whatever but i seriously do not care. i kind of dont want to leave because of me mum, but i think it'll be a good experience nevertheless :) i'll be back a week from new years, so i hope you all will enjoy the rest of your 2009, and enter twenty ten with smiles on your faces, food in your bellies, and perhaps even a boy (or a girl) on your arm (or your mouth). :D thanks for following and as soon as i get back i shall reveal ALL. freggin found my camera just in time aswell :D PHOTOGRAPHY POSTS HA-HA! lovelovelovelove. xxxx. oh and thanks in advance for any comments ♥ oh and if theres any posts you post that are MUST-READS, post the link in a comment and i'll look it up as soon as i can (i'm visising a friend in QLD, which means internet :DDDD hooray!) loveeeeeeeeee. xxxx.

I'M GOING TO PROM :)

i have sooo much to do! its on this thursday! :D i'm sooo excited and happy that i get to go! hee :) who wants to see my outfit? :D thanks for commenting! :D

romeo, save me.

i've realised i'm upset because i put my boyfriend before a lot of things. things like money, time, sleep, even health. mostly its because i never have the heart to say no. and things lately have been fucking up because of him. i wouldnt care, but when i'm upset because shit is fucked, he has nothing to say. i know he cares but, he just says nothing. i've decided to take a break, just without him knowing cause every other of the a thousant other times i've tried to go on a break he freaks out and is at my house all the time. lol, cutie. ♥ anyway, turns out my interview wasn't today, it was tuesday next week so i'm very relieved atm. i'm watching twilight for the first time tonight at home with charlotte. :) and at midnight we're going to the drive in with a group of 20, and watching new moon. charlotte says it will be the most exciting night of my life, hahah. it'll be good to stay away from boyfriend for a while, i can see it now.

even though i really do need space, i secretly want him to do something amazing.

omg my boyfriend & i are SO chummy, its rediculous.

HE TRICKED ME TODAY! said he wasnt coming

to my house after work lol! but then he did and

i ran outside and hugged him like i hadnt seen him

for ages, and then he picked me up,

took me inside, dropped me on the couch

and kissed me all over my face!

if i could write down the noise for that funny cat noise

that cats make when a little kid pulls their tail, i totally would.

just because grrrrr, just wouldnt be right. :(

HAHAHAHAHAH.

i'm very happy today. yaknow that song "everything is gay"

that that kid sings on youtube? with the guitar?

my life is kinda like that, but still it's awful!

becuase of some unknown reason

i feel terribly optimistic. :D

xxxx.

photo by me :)

just thought i'd share something of my own guy is boyfriends little brother :) took it yesterday at their house, xxxx.

i got upset today.

he held me like so:

and made sure i was okay :) i think that im starting to realize the meaning

behind the saying that happiness isnt real if it isnt shared with someone

you love ♥ church was good also: its helping with the whole priorities situation.

cant wait for beach tomorrow, how i love summer (& how i hate mosquitoes!!!)

what are you up to this week? ♥ link me to your posts please, i would very much like to read, to do some catching up :)

BEACHED AS BRO.

HERRO :) as you may know, the weather here is fucked. it will rain in the afternoon, thunderstorm at night and be like 30 degrees the next day (celcius) AND, thanks to the big fat hole in the o-zone layer our UV exposure is worse than all of youse other guys (so blerh!!) summer's pretty much officially here (even though its still technically spring so yesterday we hit the beach and spent most of the day eating icecream and at the beach with tyron ♥ which was cute we went to watch a movie at a friends, got bored so we (about 25 of us) walked down

to the beach at about 9pm & it was beautiful. tyron was being all romantic, and we were like swimming in the water but like i was on his lap and he was swaying back and forth :) and i was like "we need music!" and he's like "just listen to the ocean :)" and i was all like awwww, but secretly laughing inside and tyron and i stayed behind and decided it would be fun to go swimming naked and it totally was! but anyways, hope your weekends were awesome as was mine. :) hitting the beach again tomorrow with the sole purpose of tanning :) because i am latin american (i.e. dark?!) but right now, my boyfriend who is half islander, half white australian is darker than me. and i'm not happy about it. LOLLL happy blogging!

xxxx.

YOU MAKE ME SO MAD!!

but then again, so does everything else.

i (do not) feel fan-fucking-tastic.

as you may be able to tell,

my head is all over the place right now.

i'm pissed off to the max,

and i am also crazy!

*throws arms in the air*

HALLA-BA-LOO!!! :D

i need a job.

i need a job.

i need a job.

i need a job.

why?

JOB = PAY

PAY = MONEY

MONEY = RENT

RENT = NEW HOME.

ALL OF THIS = FREEDOM FROM OPRESSION. :)

hooray.

i hope your life

is better than mine was today.

i fell backwards at the front door,

i was trying to lift up my boyfriend

how he lifts me up when i'm upset

and he wants to make me feel better.

was shit cause it hurt

but it was kinda cute i guess.

so anyway now my elbow hurts.

and i think its bedtime right about now.

xxxx.

p.s. that guy up top is the finest damn thing i ever did see in all my years.

all of mine, well.. they all seem to

somehow come back to me. :\

i've decided to be hopelessly in love with my boyfriend.

it's taken a while to admit that i'm IN love with him

(as opposed to just loving him) but, i think i was just scared.

i suppose it's like that sometimes :)

happy blogging everybody :)

thirty followers, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! ♥

well, i did get the break i was looking for, i guess it just wasnt in the most unexpected of ways.

i got a massive headache earlier

and it turned out to be some weird thing

and i couldnt talk or breathe or move or walk or see,

so nyeewww off i went inne ambuience all the way to the hospital :)

so i've just come back from spending the past 10 hours in the hospital. my boyfriend came, again, he was lovely. didnt help that he rocked up in a suit, looking the sexiest i've ever seen him ever ever in my life. ♥ but it motivated me to want to come home and eat. i was hungry because i threw up everything i ate this year LOL thanks for the comments&subscriptions btw. i made it to 30 today :) it was a lovely suprise :D oh and btw, i'm okay :D xxxx.

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL.

i think i need a break. not from anything specific though,

except for maybe my pesimistic attitude that i seem to have adopted over the past couple of days. ♥

its hard to be optimistic sometimes, but i think once you

re-focus, and think of nothing else BUT your priorities

optimism catches up on you. and i hope it does :)

although, right now it's all curiosity's fault.

if it wasn't for you my friend, i wouldnt be so caught up in the:

OMG WHO AM I. WHAT AM I GOING TO BE? AM I GOING TO BE POOR OR RICH, WHO WILL WANT TO MARRY ME, ARE THESE THE BEST OF MY YEARS?! WHY THE HELL IS THIS THE WAY IT IS? WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO STUDY? WHY IS MY BOYFRIEND LIKE THAT? WHY ARE MY THIGHS SO BIG? WHY CANT I BE LIKE HER? WHY ISNT MY HAIR GROWING FASTER?? Kind of shit.

you suck.

thanks for your comments, you are lovely.

xxxx.

spoonful of sugar.

whi.

job interviews suck. just as much as life does for me right now. (brb) gone beach. *thumbs up.*

NYEH NYEH NYEH NYEH NYEH.

hobogestapo.

omg my boyfriends mum is soooo whiney!

just listening to her makes me want to shoot her

in the head(with a marshmallow gun)!

just to make her confused so she

shuts up for a while; geeeeeeeeeeeeeez!

& i know i'm not being understanding at all

but ..errghh. i have period pain. yeah that's right!

REALLY BAD PERIOD PAIN.

and it effing hurts so tyron's mum can suck it.

(i'm sure period pain measures upto the pain of labor & childbirth,

but whatever, call me selfish :P)

but seriously i've spent the morning on the couch

in tracksuit pants and no bra watching documentries about

dead people, while hugging a hot waterbottle and drinking

what's probably ended up to be like 12 cups of tea.

and now i'm out of tea. :(

and it probably didnt help that last night

on the way home i payed $6.50 for noodle box

that i got all excited about and then as soon as

i got home, i hurled. and didnt stop until bedtime.

eugh! what a waste of money.

oh, and my boyfriend (asshole!) replied to my "omg noodlebox sucks! i've

been vomiting for like an hour!" text message in the morning

with: "i left my library card in your electricity box on the way

to work this morning. mind popping over to the library and borrowing

[some gay book about shit stuff] for me?" at a library that's half an hour

away from my house! i'm his girlfriend not his wife!

above all, PMS is making things 10 times as hard as they should be.

chocolate soup

anyway, how are you all? whats news, whats not!

what have you bought, tell me everything :)

i charity shopped and bought a really cuteblack

pencil skirt for like six bucks, so cute!

btw my interview went reeeeeeeeeeeeealllyyywell :)

it went for like an hour of just me & the

director just talking about random stuff, was so good,

and i was so proud, but now i really want to work there!

now i'm just scared that i would've gotten my hopes up

and like now its like "omg i so know that i'm not going to

end up working there because of how much

i really want to work there" i hate the way life

works like that it's so sucky!

btw i was thinking about the girls hair in the last post

and chloe, you're so right, it would be really high maintainance!!

but still, i hope that she gets gum right in the top

and she has to shave it all off. stupid cow,

(clearly, i am still disturbingly jealous)

hugs, kisses and big long sloppy licks across your faces!

hahahahahah grosseee! (i know you'd love it!)

xxxx.

kissy kissy :)

fridayi'minlove.

haha! so the new rule in the boyfriend's house (coming home straight after work) ..totally FAILED. he came home to me last night!

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! >:) whuaha!! stupid mrs. lady, i'm like two up now, how marvellous.

i've also decided that my boyfriend and i

shall visit the zoo (: to see the long nosed chinese animal i forget what they're called, but get this i rememeber exactly where they are in the zoo. weirdddddd.

i'm sooo nervous about the interview today and i have another one tomorrow i dont think i want to go though! errrkk! and my nails are painted black they might think i'm emo ewwwwwwwwwwwwWwWwww.

(meliencuarto-fran)

btw FUCK i am so fucking jealous of this chicks hair she should have a god damn lisence for this 'do look at it its so fucking gorgeous what the hell it makes me angry looking at it because my hair is unfortunately not identical to hers. grr. btw i keep sneezing how annoying.

i hope your days are lovely ♥

xxxx.

one up! :)

i dont know who she is, but shes gorrrrgeousss. i've re-named my boyfriends mum :) bendyway, just came back from big mama's house i did not say hi to her, and i knew she'd come out the back so i went into the house the back way, and cuddled up to tyron just that little bit too close >:) when she glared at me i purposely rubbed my eyes like i was upset boyfriend cuddled me and stroked my hair. she could see me, i could see her.

tension!

i rubbed my eyes again. she saw my nails. black nails >:) i feel evil, yet satisfied. nancy 1 - 0 big mama

how was your weekend?

mine was exactly as follows:

my weekend was really overwhelming.

will explain tomorrow.

sorry for not posting much.

♥

like a ghost, i'll be gone.

v.whatsmailine

in my case this is not true. if it was me, this would simply be chnaged to:

"im pretty sure i could conquer the world with two hands, but i'd really much prefer it if you were there to hold one of them (as long as you were being a good boy and you made me feel special, because then i'd feel head special because of the conquering the world bit, and feel ♥ special because of the little stuffs you'd do. if not i'd just dump you and find someone at the top. :)"

i said simple, right? lol, anyways i learnt today as young people we want everything to be awesome. we want our parents to be happily married. we want an awesome boyfriend who's never a douge and is never boring. we want friends that dont back stab us, we want people to follow our blogs. (lol.) but sometimes these expectations are really unfair; thus we should make them wishes, CLEARLY, and keep in mind that it's near impossible to have everything close to what you want -- and that way it's a lot harder to be dissappointed. no one is perfect. and its important for us (me.) to remember that even we (i am) are not perfect, and that we're probably doing loads of crap to hurt and annoy peopel without realising, it. and that there is probably also someone else in the world waiting for an apology when we have no idea of even doing anything wrong.

i have no idea whats going on with my boyfriend, except for:

[ he loves me. i love him. ]

big suprise. love doesnt fix things though. i'd like to say i know what i'm going to do but i have no idea. :) so i think i'll just wing it.

find happiness in litle things, such as custard and a new handbag. ♥

xx.

you have mail.

nooidea, how sad.

so long story short. boyfriends being a douuuchhe, and i really didnt need it after all the things i've been through for him this week (and also because it was our six months anniversary thing, and he asked me to trust him more and he went and was an idiot, ew.) so anyway, i've decided to set boundaries, and tell him exactly what to do, and what happens if he doesnt. i usually forgive easily, probably too easily, and so i've decided this is what i need to do. so, i guess my message to him is: you have mail. get it right or get lost.

:)

oh and i feel much better.

i think i might draw.

oh and also hi to my new followers.

hope you're all well ♥

sh*t.

k&h i feel like shit.

i'm frustrated, stressed and fed up.

i'm annoyed.

i didnt expect it, but i'm not suprised.

yesterday love was perfect, today love is the opposite.

n for nancy.

n for naive.

relief.

zarajay, spent eight point five hours straight at the hosptial with boyfriend's mum. never thought just sitting there could be so tiring, but she's getting better ♥ hope you all are fine & dandy. btw, hello to followers old & new.

you should know that knowing that there was

thirteen of you ♥ totally made me smile :)

x.