girls.

okay so first i wanna say thanks you to the six girls who commented my last post. all of you told me exactly what i needed to hear, which leads me to this post and that i guess i want to highlight the difference between telling something to boys, and telling the same thing to a girl because i actually think its really interesting. like, guys generally have no idea what to say when we talk about, well, anything? and i moreso noticed this now that i've been dating tyron for 10 months (naw!) and like, í'll talk to him about something and he really has no idea what to say - even though he really wants to help he'll usually like, panic for a bit then do something to make me laugh. like today we were cuddling in his bed and i was upset because the father of this baby at church wont even recognise that it's his kid and i was upset because like how could you not want to have everything to do with this such a tiny, tiny bundle of perfect love and.. well whatever, and after he complained heaps because i wouldnt tell him what was wrong, i told him and he like, said nothing. and then i turned around and he had a green and silver battery sitting on his left eye and he robotically exclaimed "I AM TRITO-TON!" and cracked me up. guys are good at being guys. and how much they understand or comprehend what youre saying really doesnt reflect and has nothing to do with how much they love you or even if they love you or not. most of the time they genuinely just dont get it. ladies - dont expect to much of them. update your blog instead and let us girls deal with it. :)

QUEENSLAND.

ON MY TRIP I FOUND OUT HOW MUCH I REALLY DO LOVE MY BOYFRIEND, PARENTS, BLOG AND CITY (melbourne ♥). I ALSO FOUND OUT HOW RAT SOME OF MY FRIENDS ARE. I FOUND MY PASSION AND AMBITION. I FOUND A LOT OF HOT BOYS, HUNG OUT WITH AN NRL PLAYER (israel folau ♥) AND DID ALL NIGHTERS @ IMPROVISED PARTIES, SANG WITH SUPERSTARS AND MADE LOADS OF FRIENDS & CONNECTIONS. I ALSO GOT POSTCARDS. LIKE 3. SWAPS, ANYONE? MWAH. HAPPY LATE NEW YEARS LOVLIES.

i'm back from queeeeeensland. i went nuts without my computer. mm, technology. sweet, sweet technology.

not dead, just very gone :D

hay hay hay! just thought i would post one more time before i leave for brisbane. i am officially leaving in just under an hour. i'm really sick at the moment, and i've lost my voice and i'm all grosse and whatever but i seriously do not care. i kind of dont want to leave because of me mum, but i think it'll be a good experience nevertheless :) i'll be back a week from new years, so i hope you all will enjoy the rest of your 2009, and enter twenty ten with smiles on your faces, food in your bellies, and perhaps even a boy (or a girl) on your arm (or your mouth). :D thanks for following and as soon as i get back i shall reveal ALL. freggin found my camera just in time aswell :D PHOTOGRAPHY POSTS HA-HA! lovelovelovelove. xxxx. oh and thanks in advance for any comments ♥ oh and if theres any posts you post that are MUST-READS, post the link in a comment and i'll look it up as soon as i can (i'm visising a friend in QLD, which means internet :DDDD hooray!) loveeeeeeeeee. xxxx.

I do not understand guitar hero. :(

hi party people! (special hello's to my new followers!) whats up. :) i just got back from a house party in this massive, massive house that had a bunny rabbit hopping around. was pretty cool, but i fell asleep and when i woke up people were playing guitar hero and talking about placentas. ew. it was a really weird party, but the music was crap so like, yeah. and boyfie wasnt there, ew. anyway, i PROMISE i will post pictures of my formal dress as soon as i find the cord for my cameraaa :) dress is not that great but i love love love it. my shoes are death on heels. :D i hope your weekends are fantasticly amazingly super super duper awesome! xxxx.

WHAT THE EFF IS WRONG WITH YOU. SERIOUSLY, I DONT EVEN GET WHAT YOURE SAYING HALF THE TIME. YOU'RE SO MOODY, I HATE YOU.

dear lord, why does he persist to try my patience so? amen.

shit is shit with my boyfriend. i kind of dont care though, it's weird, but i think i'm just over the whole "our relationship is perfect" thing and i'm just getting on with it. also my dog keeps killing pretty birds, and its starting to piss me off. cant blame her though because its in her nature and all that jazz, but still, the hell man.

YAMAYZING.

i tried to break up with him tonight. his response: whatever reason you're trying to do this for, it's not good enough. we are not breaking up. thats what he said. and then - oh and then, he kissed me. he did it, he did something amazing. :) and my friend didnt even text him :) my weird feelings can fuck themselves. i love him, i love him. hello btw :) its raining here, but its warm. :) is it sunny where you are?

xxxxx.

delicious ambiguity

nothing's happened so far today. i just woke up with a headache because i fell asleep with my head on my phone. i wasnt talking on it or anything, it just ended up there. i think because i miss my boyfriend, i wanted to text him last night to tell him to come over in the morning, but i fell asleep. i'm kind of glad i did though, because if i had texted him and he didnt come, i wouldve been shattered. i miss him. i'll probably see him tonight. there's a church dance, only thing is that if he doesnt go, i'll end up going with this guy he hates who's my friend (i dont really like him either). awkward. the drive in was amazing, twilight was amazing: but taylor lautner is so much more than beyond amazing. have you seeen his body?! hello! i'm just glad my boyfriend didnt go last night to see me drool all over myself for this guy. LOL! honestly though, last night would have been so much better with him there. :( I MISS HIM, and yes i said it again. and for those wondering why the fuck i talk about my boyfriend so much is because he's so much so a part of my life that when he's not there for a while it freaks me out. he actually told me that he plans to marry me this one time we were at the hairdresser and i was looking at a bridal magazine. but he has shit to do first. it's complicated. also, and more importantly - he's my best friend. i can tell him everything (doesnt mean i do, remember i'm an incredibly emotionally closed off person).

the thing is though - i think i'm falling out of love with him and its scaring the hell out of me. hmm. i think i'm going to text my friend to tell her to text him and get him to do something awesome. like a summersault. :)

he is amazing, but he's just so damn stupid. nothing so far has happened today.

BTWOMFGWTFBBQFTW6OFOLLOWERSLOL.

romeo, save me.

i've realised i'm upset because i put my boyfriend before a lot of things. things like money, time, sleep, even health. mostly its because i never have the heart to say no. and things lately have been fucking up because of him. i wouldnt care, but when i'm upset because shit is fucked, he has nothing to say. i know he cares but, he just says nothing. i've decided to take a break, just without him knowing cause every other of the a thousant other times i've tried to go on a break he freaks out and is at my house all the time. lol, cutie. ♥ anyway, turns out my interview wasn't today, it was tuesday next week so i'm very relieved atm. i'm watching twilight for the first time tonight at home with charlotte. :) and at midnight we're going to the drive in with a group of 20, and watching new moon. charlotte says it will be the most exciting night of my life, hahah. it'll be good to stay away from boyfriend for a while, i can see it now.

even though i really do need space, i secretly want him to do something amazing.

yo!

33/91 degrees today.

i had a shit morning, the shittest morning in a while. so i went shopping, and i bought 2 bras and 7 pairs of new undies. was happy until i burnt my hand on a 527 degree metal thing. it hurts so bad. stuff with my boyfriend is uncontrollably bad. its gotten to the point that i cant even talk about it because it just makes me really upset. its not even that bad, he just really has not stepped up at all. he's not cheating on me or anything but he's just like, let down after let down i was so upset today, and i asked him to come to mine after work because i desperately needed to talk to him. he didnt come. i called him after like 6 hours, because i couldnt stop crying. and i know no ones perfect but c'mon. take the conversation we had on the phone:

mee: (babbling on about how much my hand is in excrutiating pain).

*awkward silence*

him: um, okay. i need to get up early is there anything important you need to say?

i started crying and hung up. i continued to cry for a half hour or so. i've had a stressful week. month. four months. yep. four months. i know i'll be okay though. wannaknow why? i'm a ninja. 'nuff said. hope you're better than me.

omg my boyfriend & i are SO chummy, its rediculous.

HE TRICKED ME TODAY! said he wasnt coming

to my house after work lol! but then he did and

i ran outside and hugged him like i hadnt seen him

for ages, and then he picked me up,

took me inside, dropped me on the couch

and kissed me all over my face!

if i could write down the noise for that funny cat noise

that cats make when a little kid pulls their tail, i totally would.

just because grrrrr, just wouldnt be right. :(

HAHAHAHAHAH.

i'm very happy today. yaknow that song "everything is gay"

that that kid sings on youtube? with the guitar?

my life is kinda like that, but still it's awful!

becuase of some unknown reason

i feel terribly optimistic. :D

xxxx.

HE IS SO AMAZING.

guh, he really is.

anyway after lol-ing about what fenia and that said

on my last post about my boyfriend's brother being

amazing-looking and such, i got inspired to photograph my boyfriend

and i'm doing so tomorrow, and so hopefully

you guys will have a better understanding

of what i'm working with here LOLOL

how are we all? i hope you're doing fine

and that raindrops on your head

(that make your straightenned hair frizzy)

are not tearing you down :D

as for me, i had the giggles today! really badly!

i couldnt stop bahahah :) it was fun

and i also ate a nashi pear :D

hooray!

xxxx.

also, if it makes you feel better,

he really isnt that amazing.

i think i just think so cause we are in love ♥

photo by me :)

just thought i'd share something of my own guy is boyfriends little brother :) took it yesterday at their house, xxxx.

trust in _____.

my boyfriend was really upset today, it kind of disturbed me, because i realised how shut off i can be. he was upset because he says i open up to other people

more than him and he doesnt know wha

to do anymore :( it was soo sweet but it was

also really really sadddd :(

on a positive note

I'M FREE!

FREE, I TELL YOU! FREEEEE!!!!

did my last exam today, & naaailleeeddd it!

and also the exam lady said that she

had never seen anyone write as much as me

^__^ hooray!

anyway with the whole omgomg stress thing

with not knowing what to do career-wise

i've decided i'm going to let God, fate or whatever it is

that decides your circumstances decide for me

and i'm just gonna live everyday like whatever :)

and i'm going to trust my boyfriend more

and talk to him because i didnt realize it upset him that much

which will be hard cause talking-out feelings

isnt exactly a skill i possess. i might write letters

to my boyfriend every now and then or something

LOL

should be good, although i dont

know how long i'll last.

hope you are all wonderful, happy and beautiful

(on the inside).

xxxx.

i got upset today.

he held me like so:

and made sure i was okay :) i think that im starting to realize the meaning

behind the saying that happiness isnt real if it isnt shared with someone

you love ♥ church was good also: its helping with the whole priorities situation.

cant wait for beach tomorrow, how i love summer (& how i hate mosquitoes!!!)

what are you up to this week? ♥ link me to your posts please, i would very much like to read, to do some catching up :)

BEACHED AS BRO.

HERRO :) as you may know, the weather here is fucked. it will rain in the afternoon, thunderstorm at night and be like 30 degrees the next day (celcius) AND, thanks to the big fat hole in the o-zone layer our UV exposure is worse than all of youse other guys (so blerh!!) summer's pretty much officially here (even though its still technically spring so yesterday we hit the beach and spent most of the day eating icecream and at the beach with tyron ♥ which was cute we went to watch a movie at a friends, got bored so we (about 25 of us) walked down

to the beach at about 9pm & it was beautiful. tyron was being all romantic, and we were like swimming in the water but like i was on his lap and he was swaying back and forth :) and i was like "we need music!" and he's like "just listen to the ocean :)" and i was all like awwww, but secretly laughing inside and tyron and i stayed behind and decided it would be fun to go swimming naked and it totally was! but anyways, hope your weekends were awesome as was mine. :) hitting the beach again tomorrow with the sole purpose of tanning :) because i am latin american (i.e. dark?!) but right now, my boyfriend who is half islander, half white australian is darker than me. and i'm not happy about it. LOLLL happy blogging!

xxxx.

YOU MAKE ME SO MAD!!

but then again, so does everything else.

i (do not) feel fan-fucking-tastic.

as you may be able to tell,

my head is all over the place right now.

i'm pissed off to the max,

and i am also crazy!

*throws arms in the air*

HALLA-BA-LOO!!! :D

i need a job.

i need a job.

i need a job.

i need a job.

why?

JOB = PAY

PAY = MONEY

MONEY = RENT

RENT = NEW HOME.

ALL OF THIS = FREEDOM FROM OPRESSION. :)

hooray.

i hope your life

is better than mine was today.

i fell backwards at the front door,

i was trying to lift up my boyfriend

how he lifts me up when i'm upset

and he wants to make me feel better.

was shit cause it hurt

but it was kinda cute i guess.

so anyway now my elbow hurts.

and i think its bedtime right about now.

xxxx.

p.s. that guy up top is the finest damn thing i ever did see in all my years.