so today my rich, gay half-brother (that i've never, ever hung out with before) picked me up from my house in his french convertible and we went for a drive. we took flowers to my neice renee's grave (died four days after being born) & to his friend's grave who committed suicide (at 30 something). as we were driving around the long, outstretched curvey roads through the memorial park toward's renee's grave, i felt like i was been taken down memory lane - and when we got there i was mesmorised by my memory of releasing 100 balloons into the air to signify her spirit being free, free of suffering, free to just be. even though it was really sad, it made me feel like all my shitty problems, my stress and my worries were all, for that moment, at ease. it was nice. we then went for vietnamese food at a restaurant and cause he was paying i got heaps of really nice but expensive food, >:] muahah. i'm glad him & i are getting closer; in the past 3 weeks we've talked a lot. i've been trying to get his attention for years - which is hard because my family hates him. i'm just glad, finally.