CALVIN KELIN

2010-12-29T10:16:00.002+11:00

OMFG So, this person saw my illustrations/artwork & they wanted me to design the logo and some clothes for their "exclusive" boutique in Auckland, New Zealand. Once their dad saw my stuff though, he offered to help me start up my own label by Autumn 2011. Holy sh*t. :)

2010-12-18T12:55:00.001+11:00

I love feeling pretty.

2010-12-17T23:00:00.002+11:00

I went to a bohemian themed farewell with Jacob tonight :) I went all out and even bought Jacob some baby genie-pants ;) It was pretty quiet, but maxed out on loveliness :) Kelsie's leaving Melbourne for Salt Lake City soon, and her pergola was draped in colored fabric, and we sat around a coffee table & henna'ed eachother while chatting & jamming on guitars + singing. It was so lovely.

2010-12-17T07:32:00.000+11:00

Summer just doesnt wan't to stick around in Melbourne this year :(

2010-12-06T22:58:00.001+11:00

THIS IS JACOB :)

2010-12-05T15:22:00.001+11:00

1. Someone described me as a lioness the other day. Wuurd. 2. People keep trying to convince me NOT to study next year. 3. People touching baby Jacob's face while he's sleeping - actually makes me want to rip their faces off while they're sleeping. 4. I accidentally got boiling water down my front the other day. That hurt like a bitch. Hurt even more when I had to hold Jacob. FFS. But yeah it's okay now. 5. I have to post more often. I will. :)

2010-12-01T20:43:00.004+11:00

I've realised how quickly things can change, lately. In less than a year I learned to hate the person I loved, love the people I hated - I learnt to breathe, I learnt to cry, I learnt to trust and I learnt to be free.

And now instead of being a girl getting sick of being pregnant - I am a woman and I am a mother. ♥

2010-11-18T21:48:00.000+11:00

I'M STRESSED. :(

2010-11-17T18:43:00.002+11:00

It's good to have a good friend who wont try & kiss you because he knows you have issues, and he doesnt give a f*ck, :)

2010-11-16T18:47:00.001+11:00

you know my street by name, and the number on my door. ♥

2010-11-12T14:12:00.002+11:00

everytime i go to the hosptial i go to bed thinking i should totally have a pregnancy & baby blog. so i'm starting one today :)

2010-11-08T13:05:00.003+11:00

if you have the desire, even in it's smallest measurement, to make your life beautiful, that will always enough.

2010-11-06T10:30:00.000+11:00

FACT: I cannot hate you. I hate that.

2010-11-05T16:52:00.000+11:00

i miss having all the time in the world for reading blogs. :(

2010-11-03T22:41:00.001+11:00

This is my friend Legrand. He's a pretty sick kid. We went to Moe with Brier and Heather on Monday and had a pretty awesome time. I took this photo there :D

2010-11-03T13:44:00.001+11:00

DONT LOOK FOR LOVE. LET IT FIND YOU. ITS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAT WAY.

2010-11-02T14:57:00.004+11:00

This post is pretty angry and moderately deep. If you can't hack it, although it might sound bitchy, I really don't care. It's not my problem if you come across my blog thinking it's all lovely and flowers and fuck. My blog is about my life & life can sometimes be ugly as fuck - God's made sure I know that, especially lately. And I don't live for your damn approval :) Anyways, I have two questions - a short one and a long one. Question 1: How the crap is it that I turned my phone off, went to bed and woke up with 32 new messages? Seriously, dude. Question 2: What the crap is with people? Fuck, honestly some people just piss me off. People and their fucking ignorance. I'm having a baby out of wedlock because I refuse to marry my ex-boyfriend who raped me & fucked with my brain. No matter what anyone says or does, especially not him, will ever make me change my mind and convince me to marry someone who won't love me or my child the way they should - ever. How can it be better for a child to be born into wedlock when his father is capable of almost killing his mother, more than once and feeling he's done nothing wrong? And what the fuck is wrong with people who expect me to give him up for adoption? Are you fucking kidding me? Who could love a child more than their own mother? Seriously, what is the logic behind your shit? What, because a child can't have his father he should be deprived of his mother aswell? NO ONE WILL EVER give my son what I would. Whoever might be richer, more educated and more powerful, I might be young and I might still not have finished uni and have loads of cash but it's not a freggin job interview. It's my son's life. Sorry, but no. I'm having a baby by myself. I'm giving birth, and raising my son all on my own. I dont care how hard it is, or how long it takes me to fit into new routines, how tired I get, how much sleep I loose, how badly it affects my studies, but no. I'm having my son, getting my double-degree, and living happily ever after. No exceptions. Oh and hi :)

2010-11-01T23:47:00.006+11:00

He kissed me and I couldn't stand it. Goodbye, miseur.

2010-10-28T12:45:00.001+11:00

Remember this guy? He's coming for me in an aeroplane tonight, ♥.

2010-10-22T00:14:00.001+11:00

I FEEL SO FREAGIN SELFISH.

2010-09-28T10:09:00.003+10:00

I'm having a baby in December :)

2010-09-08T21:40:00.003+10:00

I NEED INSPIRATION

2010-09-06T19:23:00.001+10:00

I am terribly sick. :(

2010-09-05T20:50:00.003+10:00

i've taken up a new hobby! last tuesday when i bought those earrings, i also bought an embroidery ring :) i looked up some patterns today, and tomorrow i'm taking a day trip into grandma-ville & buying more thread, needles and linen. i'm way too excited. LOL! also, sankyu everybody who commented on my last post :) i actually feel loads better - you'll see how it went eventually ;)

xx.

2010-09-03T16:42:00.006+10:00

can someone puh-lease let me know what the deal is with long distance relationships these days? are they not called long distance cause there's only a short distance between people and their computers & their cell phones? are they not as difficult because of cheap airline tickets and people's inability to save money? what the hell is this?! if you ask me, it's all bullcrap. i dont see how you can "date" someone without actually going on dates. i know like 6 girls "dating" guys from brisbane (>21hours drive/>2.5hour flight), and now a guy from brisbane wants to "date" me. :(

usually, the whole distance thing would be enough to make it oh-so-easy to tell whoever it was to go get screwed, but this guy is amazing. he's funny, not completely genetically unfortunate either, a-n-d he's actually really, really smart. my one friend, who's known me since i was like 5, says i should definately "go for it" because of how awesome he is, and because it's "dating" and not lockdown. but i just dont even see how its possible to "go for" anything? i cant wrap my head around the concept of "dating" someone in that way. maybe i'm just not as "down-with-the-kids" as i thought - and even though i can't grasp the idea of it, cause he's so awesome, i can't say no it either! argh, i dont know. help, please :(

2010-09-02T11:05:00.000+10:00

put on a smile, & it'll be alright.

2010-09-01T22:24:00.000+10:00

i bought these earrings yesterday and i love them to bits. ♥ that is all.

2010-09-01T12:03:00.002+10:00

i wonder why it is,

that i dont argue, like this.

with anyone, but you.

2010-09-01T11:09:00.005+10:00

LMAO! I love the way, you delete someone from your phone contacts and its like the biggest "fuck you" in the whole world.

2010-08-31T09:45:00.003+10:00

after i posted yesterday, i thought about it & realised i should probably just take the plunge even if i'm scared sh*tless. i figured that worst case scenario - there's nothing left for him to break ♥. so i talked to him last night, but we had a misunderstanding & all we did was fight. 1am i had just hung up on him, and i was angry as anything, and i got a call from a guy i've had a very secretive thing for since like, year 9 (i just realised that's like, five years). isn't it funny how one person can turn up out of nowhere, for no reason, but as soon as they do, everything makes sense? gawr. :) this morning, i texted to explain what the misunderstanding was from my view, apologised, and told him how i feel. i'm leaving the rest up to life, giving time some time.

2010-08-30T10:22:00.003+10:00

I was feeling better until someone, this one a-m-a-z-i-n-g fellow, told me he'd like to date me. And I realised I'm still not ready. I don't know what to do. And I don't know what to say. And we had a fight. I don't know if I'm "not ready" or I'm just too scared. Or if I just dont want to. And If I try to explain it I'll just make it worse. And he lives far away. Arghhh.

2010-08-29T19:35:00.002+10:00

Note: Terrible language for a Sunday (or any day for that matter). I never actually swear outloud ever, but right now I feel like I am gray and a terribly ugly shade of blue. I'm afraid I'm temporarily depressed. Nothing too shitty happened, I'm just in a shitty mood and my friends are mostly shitty for different reasons aswell. Not at me, but they all complain to me and I'm at that point you get to once in a while where you really don't give a fuck about Jane getting fucked over by her other friends, or how John has trust issues. I'll be fine tomorrow, but for now I wish I were a turtle so that I had a shell to crawl into. ♥

2010-08-27T15:55:00.002+10:00

Getting sick while you diet is gay. :(

2010-08-26T13:50:00.021+10:00

A R G H ! S U M M E R P L A N S ! :D

(Veuillez, aucun je ne déteste il!) Aujourd'hui, je suis extrêmement heureux ♥. C'est pas parce que quelque chose d'extrêmement fantastique s'est produite, mais parce que j'ai trouvé, qu'il a laissé 96 jours seulement jusqu'à l'arrivée de l'été ! Maintenant, est que ce temps peut sembler trop long pour être anticiper l'arrivée d'une saison, mais j'ai passé hier et aujourd'hui à faire des plans pour l'été et le printemps, et mon coeur est chantant ! J'espère que cela se produit comme suit : Septembre: argent et travail. Malheureusement, trop d'applications pour l'Université. Octobre: J'espère que j'ai un emploi, et si je travaille, je travaille pour de l'argent. ;D Novembre : Plus d'applications, travailler. : (printemps carnivale race de cheval!) (cinq étoiles : mode!) Un ami spécial (♥) a l'intention de visiter. Je ne peux pas attendre ! Décembre : l'été ! J'espère que j'ai mon nom en décembre. Je n'ai aucune intention à visiter aussi souvent que possible pour se situer dans le soleil de la plage. Après Noël, j'ai l'intention de voyager à Sydney pour assister à une convention/festival enorme! Avant départ et pendant mes vacances, acheter des vêtements. Beaucoup. aussi Voici où je voudrais utiliser la plupart de mon argent ;D J'espère revenir à melbourne à la fin de la première semaine de 2011, après beaucoup de plaisir sous le soleil!), achat beaucoup vêtements, après avoir effectué les bons amis et souvenirs et avec un esprit ouvert fraîche - pour m'aider à démarrer mes quatre années d'étude intense!

LEE! I drew this: ♥♥♥

2010-08-24T12:33:00.004+10:00

So, hardcore applying for Universities starts today. I'm applying for Visual/Creative Arts & Education type bachelors degrees. It's really exciting because I can't wait to have a legit excuse to draw on everything (my dad fumes up when I draw on anything, long story lol), but it's also slightly depressing cause I'm more than likely going to have to move away from the city. :( Suckkks.

2010-08-23T12:23:00.003+10:00

If you're unhappy, develop an attitude of gratitude. Give thanks for everything that happens to you, especially your trials. When you're stuggling to climb a mountain, acknowledging that every step forward, is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than where you are now and being grateful will help you to understand, learn and progress. Even when your feet run out of ground, and the world brings you to your knees. Gratitude is a memory stored, not in the mind, but in the heart, and given the amount of unjust suffering and unhappiness in the world, I am deeply grateful for, sometimes even perplexed by, how much misery I have been spared. (Btw, yes. I am well aware that my glasses are broken.)

2010-08-21T15:55:00.003+10:00

Dear God & Jesus,

I think I am in love with the world youse guys made for me to live in. :) Thanks bros.

Homies for life, yo.

-Nancy.

2010-08-19T14:18:00.003+10:00

Some guy I know's friend found my blog. I feeel soooo uncomfortable I wanna puke : But hey, yeah. My dog had puppies! Woop woop!

2010-08-16T12:31:00.002+10:00

Summer, I was wrong. Come back to me. LOL!!

2010-08-14T10:13:00.003+10:00

HA-HA. my dog is running around the backyard growling, and he sounds like the cutest, smallest lawnmower evaaar, ♥! I made a dream catcherrr yesterday! Has anyone ever made a freakin' dreamcatcher? Ever? Is it not the hardest fucking thing you've ever crafted in your life? Fucken hell. But whatever, it's done now anyway LOL! Have a good weekend girlies. BTW WOW! HOW REFRESHING IS IT WHEN A GUY ISN'T A TOTAL DICKFACE? Seriously! It's so nice! Bahah.

2010-08-10T10:51:00.005+10:00

I love it when a boy who isn't supposed to like you get's a little bit too close, is a little bit too comfortable but is still just a little bit clumsy. Makes you laugh a little, makes you blush a little, makes you stop and stare.. a little. :) Makes you think, makes you feel uneasy and leaves you lovestruck. just, a little. :) Little did I know, a little is all I needed. I'm happy to say that today, I am happy. ♥

2010-08-05T12:52:00.003+10:00

I drew this today. Anyways. Ferk, so this surfer guy I know is giving me the heeby-jeebies :) Good ones at that, but so much for not falling. LOL!

2010-08-03T13:01:00.003+10:00

This weekend, I didn't fall in love. It was nice. :)

2010-07-29T15:45:00.003+10:00

last weekend i cried, i sang, i laughed, i was nervous, i ran, i slept, i woke up, i fell, i broke down, i got back up, i was proud, i was touched (emotionally, okay guys? LOL), i was angry, i was cold, i was hot, i was sick, i was scared, i was excited, i was alive, i was abused, i was loved and i was hated. i stole balloons, apparently i stole a heart, i inhaled too much helium, i climbed a pole, i was thoroughly confused by the cutest male in exsistance right now, i danced with a blind man and i broke the man who broke my heart. why yes, tomorrow is friday. :)

2010-07-23T13:44:00.018+10:00

If I've read and/or comment on your blog, and I'm not subscribed

PLEASE, PLEASE
remind me to, because i love all of your blogs to iddy little bits and I don't wanna miss out on any of your wonderful posts. ♥

I haven't really posted much about my life lately, so here's a summary, girls: I'm invited to 4 diff places tonight, 3 diff places tomorrow night, and 2 places Sunday. F*cking.. weekends. >:@! Been drinking excessive amounts of China detox tea, and now everytime I wake up I look pregnant - until I pee ♥ LOL! Losing weight though :) I'm in love with Danny, this guy I dated for two years, haven't seen in like three years. He totally has a girlfriend, but he lives 11 hours away by car, so it's nothing to worry about. He loves me too, don't judge me, fuck you, it's temporary - it always is. ♥ Umm, andddd, yep. I miss my camera. Left it in a mate's car :( . I'm doing HEAPS of folio stuff at the mo' for Uni interviews coming up soon! I have a couple of gorgeous friends to model so far, and one guy is even flying down from the other side of the country, so I can do a shoot with him! WOOP WOOP! :) I'll start job hunting again soon, and I should also be getting my license soon, which is way too exciting for me to handle right now! If I save up enough money, I'm going to Sydney over New Years, for two weeks. Massive convention, massive parties, massive cruise - I'm psyched!! That is all. For now. :)

2010-07-21T00:18:00.006+10:00

i could never explain it, but i guess this is kind of what it looks like: in my head. :(

btw i did that. and it's collage is 1 of 2 :) if you like, i'll post the other. it's better. ♥

2010-07-13T16:49:00.002+10:00

i realised that i am everything, without tyron. so depressing as it sounds, i'm scared of becoming nothing again. i'm too detached anyway. :)

2010-07-12T23:11:00.003+10:00

went on a date tonight - with jarryd. he drove an hour to come get me, paid for my movie ticket, held my hand, brought me home, and kissed me goodnight. i dunno, though. :\

2010-07-06T01:00:00.002+10:00

He’s the boy that never goes home. Who thinks selling dope and having high hopes make him grown. Late nights on street corners protecting urban borders, claiming rocks for blood, selling rocks for what? He nodded at me and I smiled back, never once ignoring the blood stains on his shoes – he was a gangster. And I never understood how such a bright boy could be such a coward, because that’s what they all are. Cowards who hide behind colors, blue and red type brothers who leave their sisters and mothers, how could he? I bet you wonder if heaven's got a ghetto. But you will never know, because attempting to play God and pimpin' Mother Nature will never get you high enough to get there. So he will descend his angels to tell you it's Tupac for one more gangster & now, you're off to hell's home, homie, where you won’t have back pockets for your blood colored bandanas to hang onto like umbilical cords connecting you with the wind. You will just be dead skin. Lost like the next of kin of all your other blood-brothers who sin – and all you’re fighting for means nothing anymore. Because in hell you will no longer have your boys willing to die for you, just demons waiting to dance with you, holding out red roses that used to be white before they used them to clean up the mess you made when you were still alive. What are you thinking? You coward.. running from your own light, shaking hands with the darkness, like you were never taught to recognize the sun.

2010-07-02T12:30:00.003+10:00

ITS MY BIRTHDAY IN 12 HOURS :)

2010-06-28T16:56:00.008+10:00

HOLY COW! ITS MY BIRTHDAY IN LIKE FIVE DAYS! LOL The plan is to get crazy drunk. That is all. Hahah, who else's birthday is it soon? I feel like making a birthday card. :) x.

2010-06-25T14:08:00.003+10:00

last night i dressed up and went to a thing @ the hilton, and on the way home i had to pull over on the freeway to throw up everything i ate this year. i havent felt so sick since i went to hospital with a migraine and i just cried and cried and bang. slept. LOL. it was especially weird though because i never expected the whole throwing-up-on-the-side-of-the-freeway-thing to happen while sober. LOL. so now, i'm cold, i'm sick, and i really want chocolate cake. its like an undescribable yearning from my stomach to like, the gods of chocolate cake heaven. it's rediculous. and not only that, i want chocolate mud cake, with chocolate frosting. like, the $6 ones you can get from safeway/woolies specifically. oh and cocoa pops. and a chocolate thickshake. and an oreo mcflurry with oreo's and m&m's and caramel. and chocolate self-saucing pudding with chocolate and vanilla icecream. ♥ omg and brownies. yuuuum. oh and btw, "JAMES." remember the name, it'll come up. :) oh and crepes and/or waffles with chocolate/vanilla icecream and chocolate sauce. and strawberries. and strawberries dipped in chocolate sauce. that really thick one you can get in the fresh produce section @ coles & foodworks. ♥ ahhaahah. and a donut. a pink one. LOL.

2010-06-23T15:06:00.005+10:00

love is only love, and can only be love, when love is real. undeniable, unbreakable, unwavering, unconditional love. that, only that, is love. i guess what i'm trying to say is that if love hurts you, it can't be love - because love is only love when it's real. if that makes sense. and my advise to like, oh shit, like, everyone, is not to be emo over anything less than love. real love. oh and hi. :) LOL!

2010-06-07T01:20:00.007+10:00

when life throws you lemons, i suggest you jump on a chair and tell it to f#ck off before you belt the sh#t out of it. :)

2010-06-03T11:21:00.003+10:00

SO IM GETTING MY HAIR DONE & THEN MODELLING @ TONI & GUY TODAY. OMG YAY (:

2010-05-24T12:01:00.005+10:00

I really dont think that I've ever known the difference, or that I ever will. I dont mind so much though. :)

2010-05-21T22:16:00.003+10:00

I'm in love. There's this guy with amazing looks and an amazing personality that I can't get over it's rediculous. LOL. Dont you love that? Arggggh! :D Anyways so I'm really looking forward to the rest of this weekend. Tryon can seriously suck a fat one. :)

2010-05-20T13:15:00.015+10:00

LOL I keep having fucked up dreams. And I can't think of any good concepts for my folio. Definately shit. I went through my clothes last night and I need new bras and that. You can never have enough bras. NEVER!!! BTW OMG WTF BBQ ITS ALMOST THE WEEKEND! xx.

2010-05-14T14:30:00.007+10:00

My name's Nancy and from Melbourne, in Australia. I’m a brunette, from Latin-American decent. (: I love rings, nail polish, fashion, art and especially photography. I’m in the process of creating a folio of flawless art pieces to present at La Trobe University for 2011. Even though its 3.5 hours drive away from home, I will get in, and I will get my degree in visual art & a diploma of education. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year but I don’t think I love him anymore, but it's his fault anyway ♥. I miss summer. I started my blog in October last year and I have 203 followers (: I blog about things I feel are important, even if I know I’ll wake up the next day and it won’t mean a thing. I blog about the way I feel, and your comments mean the world to me, because they give me a perspective I couldn't ever gain on my own. ♥. Just a recap. Also I bought 3 new nail polishes yesterday at the pharmacy & I’m in love. I’ll blog the colors once I’ve worn them all.

2010-05-11T12:53:00.011+10:00

Tyron fell off his skateboard! LOL!! Also, 200 followers today. ♥

2010-05-07T17:02:00.004+10:00

i think that people tend to accept the love that they think they deserve. i just thought that you should know, if you're not smiling every single day, or if there are moments when you really don't know why you're in love with a person who could hurt you: you deserve better, go and get it. :)

2010-05-05T12:49:00.007+10:00

baby, it began before and, here we go again. where the end will go, will i ever know? heaven only knows.

edit: i feel so sick i want to scream. oh & also i sliced off part of my finger today. and it is oh-so-attractive. LOL.

2010-04-30T13:43:00.004+10:00

Mmm, I noticed that the cold weather makes everything go slower. I argued with my dad for aaages the other night about university. After deciding that the only thing I'd be motivated enough to stay in for 3 years would be art or something art-related, I jobsearched and found next to nothing. Then out of nowhere I remembered my dream of being an art/visual communication teacher. So until next year I'm going to build an awesome folio, and volunteer assistant-teach at my old highschool (: Can't wait.

2010-04-27T13:22:00.003+10:00

i lost six kilo's. (:

think im feeling better now, lol (:

2010-04-26T16:07:00.010+10:00

my favorite place in the world, is still curled up in his bed, next to him & it makes me sick. this weekend was shit. i dont even know what happened & i'm still in love with tyron. ~~it's so fucking pathetic.~~ love is never pathetic.

2010-04-24T12:25:00.007+10:00

I'm attending a houseparty tonight. Massive speakers, dancefloor, pool. Can't wait. It will be cold but awesome, and we're all super excited. Ian and Tyron will both be there, but most importantly al my friends will be too :) Only bad thing is, I have noo idea what I'm going to wear :( Hope the rest of your weekend's will be crazycool & lovely. xxxx.

2010-04-23T17:25:00.002+10:00

now, i know its like cliche or whatever, but for a while i thought i wouldnt love again, i just didn't think i could. i didn't want to. i havent fallen in love just yet, but i guess i was just thinking about how easy it is for us to give up on love especially when someone you love hurts you, betrays you, or leaves you. i was thinking about how easily anyone can become bitter after they've loved & lost. i guess you can say i fell in the trap. it's hard to explain, but thinking about it now, it's like, just because i've been fucked up, and my heart strings arent attached to anything anymore, like, its not even "fuck that" or "fuck love" or "fuck relationships." it's like, fuck off, honestly! its not even "oh, well bad luck for him" or "i can do better," it's just like, you fucked up, so fuck off. i AM better. i know it wont be easy, but whoever the next guy i fall in love with is, i'm going to love him better. he might not be my first, or my last, or my only. he might have loved before, and he might love again. but if he loves me then, what else matters? he wont be perfect, and i'm not either. but if he can make me laugh and admit to being human, you can be damn sure i will hold onto him and give him the most i can. he might not think about me all the time, if he gives me a part of him that he knows i can break, good on him. i'll smile when he makes me happy, i'll tell him when he makes me mad, and damn straight, i miss him when he's gone. fuck yeah! like, shit! theres no way in hell i'm going to let a dickhead like tyron make me love any less. people like that should make you love others more. and i'm sure as hell i'll do everything i can to do just that. :)

2010-04-21T22:37:00.001+10:00

i really want a job so i can have more clothes & shoes. especially shoes. :( today i had a bite of a quarter pounder and threw it up. and then i ate green beans. :) mmm, ♥ my day was pointless, no shit. :)

2010-04-20T22:13:00.007+10:00

so it's tuesday and i havent posted since before the weekend! the weekend was so super busy, but so super awesome & fun that i didnt care (:

on friday night, at the glowstick parties, ian came all the way from BENDIGO (it's far, k?) and when ian & i were talking and someone threw a glowstick and it landed near us, and he threw it back across the hall, and it almost hit tyron in the head, so, i told him if he hit tyron in the head (he didn't know who tyron was) i'd totally give him $5.00; so out of nowhere he takes all my glowstick bracelets and starts piffing them at tyron's head - it was freggin hillarous. so anyway friday night & saturday he kept pestering me trying to find out who tyron is, and saturday night i ended up telling him what happened between us and he now refers to tyron as a dick. his also conjured up an evil plan to make him jealous on as many occasions as possible, and he's actually making our break-up fun. well, for me anyway, LOL. oh and on sunday he drove down again & we talked. the party on saturday night was rockin' and sunday was amazing. oh! and i didnt get to bake a cake was too busy :( but i would of won if i did. i know it LOL. hope you're all fine and dandy, babies. love youse all. xxxx. ▲

2010-04-15T20:04:00.011+10:00

So I'm officially switching to nightschool so I dont have to get up early and so I can draw during the day. :) Might start an illustration blog. But I like this one being the only one so maybe not. :) Super excited for the weekend!

Friday is a glow stick/neon party! Saturday is a fair, a dinner, a farewell! Sunday is training, church & social!

Jampacked! :D And at the dinner on Saturday there's a cake competition and I'm making one! I hope I win! :) Dont knwo what I'm making yet though, any suggestions? Much love girlies, xxxx.

2010-04-14T10:00:00.017+10:00

so i accidentally went to tryon's house to see if he was okay and shit went down. :( its like, i need him to know he can't have me even though i want him. its crazy and stupid. anyway, so this morning i sent him a text saying: ▲ i shouldnt have gone to your house after we left last night but i guess i wanted to make sure you would be okay, and it's like that anytime i'm with you, i just can't help it. it's stupid. i should have stopped doing that a really long time ago. around the time you stopped caring about me. and even though its really obvous you dont, its like i just keep getting tricked into thinking you care about me the way i care about you. but after yesterday, i guess i know how you cant be that guy. it might not be that you don't want to be, but you just dont give a shit. you dont care. so jsut do me a favor and stay the hell out of the way for the guy who is, because he deserves me, and you dont. i love you tyron, i do. and i even though want to, but i can't wait for you anymore. and i wont. i just wont. it'd be like waiting for rain that just wont come. ▲ i just hope one day he sees, nobody has it easy. but i wish him the best, i guess.

2010-04-10T21:09:00.013+10:00

and so i did. i partied all night long. and it was awesome.

2010-04-08T23:10:00.008+10:00

i must party all night long :)

2010-04-06T14:01:00.006+10:00

You just weren't worth the time or effort.

LOL TYRON, WHAT A DICKHEAD :) I was talking to his sister last night and even she said there's something seriously wrong with him. There's gonna be this huge party on Friday and I'm pumped! And next weekend there's two parties that are bound to be awesome! :D Hoooray!

▲

2010-04-05T23:59:00.005+10:00

"Since you told what you did, everytime I said I love you was a lie. I couldnt kiss you because I didn't love you. I only texted you because I didn't trust you, and I don't want to be around you. I want to love you. But I don't I don't love you, Tryon. I just don't. Not even a little, not even at all."

I said this today to the guy I thought was the one for me. I'm officially in need of massive amounts of icecream, a club, a dancefloor, a bottle of tequila & a handsome boy I'll never see again. Sounds like the weekend plan to me. ▲

2010-04-05T12:02:00.005+10:00

I'm going to start exersizing again, and be skinny next summer :)
I'm going to get my license so I can get a job.
I'm going to get a job so I can buy more clothes :)
I'm going to be skinny so I can fit them.
If I'm skinner, my sister wont steal my clothes :)
If I concentrate on excersizing and studying,
I'll be a hot lady, that's over the man who broke her.

IT ALL WORKS OUT.

2010-04-04T23:18:00.011+10:00

When I'm not with him all I can think about is how he lied to me. When I'm with him all I can think about is how much my head needs thinks I need him. But my heart doesn't want him. I don't trust him. I don't want him. I can't even kiss him anymore. He doesn't care what my heart wants. I don't care what my heart wants. My heart is dead because of him. This may be a problem, but then again - that's just how I feel.

LOL JK I'M SOOO NOT THAT DEPRESSED.

Yeah I'm just dating a guy who loves me more than I love him because he's a dickface and trying to make up for it. Whateverrr, happy easter ♥!

2010-04-02T23:05:00.010+11:00

Me: Dad, I'm moving out.

Dad: Wanna tear out the old kitchen and design the new one?

Me: Yes, Dad. Yes I do.

LOL

This plus the fat ugly hairy mole I was going to move in with being a fat ugly hairy mole, means I'm staying at home like where my home is. And yeah so I chickened out. I don't blame me. :)

This post is long.

My friends network is changing, again. Some people are so fucked sometimes it genuinely suprises me. But, suprisingly, when it's not devistating, it also makes me happy. Weird!

Fuck and I want to delete my facebook. What the fuck, honestly, why the fuck is everyone so fucking obsessed? Even I'm fucking obsessed like fuck-off facebook, you shit-pusher. Seriously, eveyrone's checking on you all the time and still you scream for attention. The fuck is wrong with you?! Hm, I think I might be angry at something. If facebook was a person I'd punch it in the mouth. :)

2010-03-29T11:39:00.004+11:00

sry for not posting in ages! no excuses, just sorries :) i hope you're all awesome, and after i post imma do my best to get around to commenting you all. then i need to wash my dog cause shes waay dirty and i cant let her inside :( and i want to cause its cold :) LOL

GUESS WHAT!

i'm moving outttt next week! its my first time! it's really super scary but i'm really excited aswell :) i know i probably wont have much to eat but that mean's i'll be eating more wisely and losing weight! hooray! ♥

2010-03-23T10:43:00.032+11:00

DEAR BRAIN, PLEASE STOP ANALYZ ING EVERY F*CKING THING.

i realised this morning when i analyse my life all i'm doing is being an anal bitch and f*cking it up for myself. i wish i could be ignorant.

2010-03-18T12:10:00.003+11:00

I MET THIS GUY. HE'S REALLY NICE BUT HE KEEPS INVADING MY PERSONAL SPACE. HE'S FAIRLY ANNOYING, BUT I STILL THINK IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE LOLOL I'VE NEVER SEEN TYRON BE SO OVER PROTECTIVE. HAHAHA. GIVING UP COFFEE IS HARD. IF YOU DON'T DRINK IT DON'T STARTTTT.

2010-03-18T12:09:00.008+11:00

2010-03-18T12:09:00.007+11:00

2010-03-18T12:07:00.002+11:00

2010-03-17T09:35:00.007+11:00

im getting really sick of teriary education, but i really fucken want two degrees. LOL, but shit seriously, yesterday i wrote 5,461 words in five hours straight. i wanted to bash my own head in with the computer :(

plus my sisters a fucken mole. i'd like to say that i made a mistake yesterday but honestly, i made the wrong choice. fucken.. consequences. i went to church last night but i dont feel churchy at all. i might feel better once i realise i'm human.

2010-03-16T09:19:00.005+11:00

my weekend was amazing times one million! :)

sitting in the sand, beneath the stars, infront of the water. chilling and jamming with our guitars, singing with two good looking fellows with amazing voices. equally beautiful personalities, being surrounded by people that love you, and love what's good - and want you to be as happy as you can be; it didn't cost any money. i'm so glad i have the friends that i do. :)

2010-03-14T01:59:00.005+11:00

TONIGHT WAS JUST SO, SO, SO INCREDIBLY AMAZING THAT I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IT'S AMAZINGNESS. I WILL DO MY BEST TOMORROW THOUGH :) BIG FAT PROMISE. SERIOUSLY THOUGH, BEYOND WORDS. JUST, UGH. ♥

2010-03-12T14:21:00.007+11:00

in every sense and meaning: i need more time.

2010-03-11T23:55:00.002+11:00

everything is simple. this is a cup. dont tell me what it looks like. dont talk about it's color or its size. dont tell me it's capacity or what it feels like. i dont care. it's just a cup. dont analyse it, dont argue, dont touch it. i dont care. its a fucken cup. just a cup. accept it for what it is. once you do, you'll realise how god damn beautiful it fucken is.

look in the mirror. you are simple. this is you. dont tell me what you look like. dont talk about your color or your size. dont tell me what you can and can't do, or what you feel like. i dont care. it's just you. dont analyse yourself, dont argue, dont spoil it. it's you. just you. accept yourself for what you are. once you do, you'll realise how god damn beautiful you are.

2010-03-11T23:38:00.008+11:00

tyron came back to me.

2010-03-11T23:35:00.005+11:00

2010-03-10T21:42:00.001+11:00

how are we all. 15 new followers in the past couple days. hello to you all :) welcome to my shitty blog with nice pictures lmfao :)

2010-03-10T14:44:00.001+11:00

2010-03-10T14:43:00.000+11:00

2010-03-06T15:31:00.003+11:00

YESTERDAY I BROKE DOWN, AND ASKED GOD TO PLEASE HELP ME. TODAY I RAN AROUND LIKE A CRAZY CHICKEN IN THE RAIN. I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WAS THIS HAPPY. THANK YOU, LORD. :)

2010-03-06T11:38:00.004+11:00

TY: hey if you wanna see me, come over. you know how to get in and without being heard. even if its just for a hug then you gone leave i dont mind.

ME: pffft! you really thought i'd come over after how rude you've been to me? why the fuck would i want a hug from the dickhead i did everything for, gave everything to, just for them to chuck it back in my face by lying, cheating and making me believe there was something there was fighting for? honestly, i do need a hug. but i need it from someone who loves me, and the way you been acting lately all can see is that you loving me is a joke i'm paying the price for. i need a hug tyron, but not from you. i need a hug from MY tyron the one that i fell in love with. the one that cared about me and the one that made me happy. not the cunt you've turned into. you're a fake peice of shit - and i never thought you'd reduce me to talk to you like this. honestly, you're fucken acting like you're the shit when all youre doing is being a dumb cunt. after all the shit i did for you and gave up for you.. like shit how fucking dumb can you be? no shit that im upset, but i'm happy cause for me to be able to find someone better, it's going to be a lot easier than it will be for you. you used to mean the world to me, and now, cause of what you've done, all you are is a fucken joke.

2010-03-05T15:12:00.004+11:00

i'd really like to say that i'm going strong without him but i'm weak as fuck. i havent called him as of yet, but i'm scared i will. fucken miss that bitch, and it probably has something to do with the fact that i hate being so damn fake.

2010-03-02T09:32:00.013+11:00

so i'm going to embark on a new adventure, sifting through a bunch of good looking dickheads till i find one worth my time. this time, it's like TAKE 1638432162: i'm single, my heart isn't taken, and i'm more than ready to mingle. bring it on, >:)

2010-02-28T10:45:00.016+11:00

SOMEDAY IT WILL LEAD ME BACK TO YOU.

fucking hope so anyway, LOL. yeah i'm crazy about tyron, not gonna deny it. seriously, on friday night, i got attacked by a crazy lady with a knife and my head was bleeding and shiet, and i was so like, distrought, i ended up at tyron's place, and he took care of me the whole night. he held me and gave me medicine and hugged me and kissed me until i fell asleep, and when i woke up, i freaked out and he grabbed me, lay me back down and stroked my hair till i calmed down. i fucking love him. i've honestly never felt more loved in my life. i'm kinda scared that it wasnt because he only felt sorry for me, but i guess i just gotta hope that it's because everytime he said he loved me it was true ♥ so anyways, im gonna make pancakes for breakfast and then im going to bake triple chocolate cookies to take to tyron at church to say thanks ♥ i hate myself at times like this. LOLOL.

2010-02-28T10:41:00.002+11:00

HEY YOU SEE THE GUY ON THE RIGHT? WELL, THE GUY ON THE RIGHT LOOKS A HELL OF A LOT LIKE IAN LOL :)